Love Love Love

I subbed a class this evening and had a very interesting experience and am having a very interesting unfolding from it all.  There were only two people in this class, of very opposite physical practices and abilities.  I kind of panicked inside at first, wondering what I was possibly going to do with a more advanced practitioner who wanted something intense (Student A), and someone who said they wanted intense but I could see needed something gentler (Student B).  I approached my teaching with love and tenderness, and encouraged the students to honor their bodies and stay connected to their experience.  I found a happy medium between the two and was amazed at the focus and moments of joy I witnessed Student B having, even in some of the more difficult poses. 

Long story short, both people left class happy and unbroken.  I left class with Student B (who just happened into the studio, visiting from another state) on my mind.  As I'm heading to bed, I'm hoping that Student B wakes up in the morning feeling ok, and hoping that the moments of intensity weren't too much for B.  I was just moved to send B some Reiki, wherever they may be in Philadelphia.  As I was watching Student B in class, I was touched by the vulnerability and loving way this person practiced.  It softened me. 

I just spent a long day teaching 4 yoga classes and giving some students Reiki.  I gave out a lot of love and energy today, and therefore am left not exhausted, but filled with love.  I really felt like I was connected to each student and what they needed in the moment.  I'm so lucky that I have a job where I can express love and caring for someone through healing touch or by guiding them towards their practice.

Maybe it's because I'm tired, maybe it's because I'm listening to a beautiful song, but I just had a good cry a few minutes ago.  Not sad tears.  Tears of loving.  Sometimes my heart fills with so much love that I cry.  Once it happened while I was riding on the bus because someone did something nice for a total stranger (so glad I was wearing sunglasses.) I've had this intense heart feeling for as long as I remember, but have spent years trying to hide it, destroy it, ignore it, build fortress after fortress around it.

And today another wall came down....a big one I think....and I truly believe that my ability to spend a lot of time loving and caring for people through Reiki and Yoga is due to the fact that I am in the process of developing a loving relationship with myself with these tools.  And even though we live in this crazy world where being soft is viewed upon as being weak, where giving out love isn't as valued as giving out a flat screen tv.....I will keep on working to honor what's inside of me and work to bring it out and share it with others. 
Meg, ball of love:)

Disclaimer: times when I am not a ball of love.....if you wake me out of a deep sleep or when I am hungry