Don't wait until your life is less turbulent to be happy. Find happiness in the turbulence.
~Yogarupa Rod Stryker
I've been a bit on the quiet front in regards to this blog as of late. I haven't had much to express out loud in the past month. I think I have some version of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) only mine is in the Spring. For some reason, every year around this time period, I get super depressed....it usually lasts around a month and then one morning I wake up and am totally fine. It's very strange. Every year I forget that it's coming and then BAM, good morning sadness and lethargy, haven't seen you in awhile!
Each year since my practice has been deepening, it's always a little less intense, but this year has marked some big changes....loss of a close animal friend, troubling shoulder/neck pain, loss of a job, and other struggles have had me traveling inward for awhile. I've needed to let myself feel whatever comes up for me, watch those thoughts and feelings, and just let them be without judging them.....allowing time to uncover what's under those thoughts. Some days I read, practice yoga, and let things happen. Some days I'd avoid everything, drink wine, eat cookies, and watch TV. The latter coping mechanism obviously being the one that I'd rather never do, but I'm not quite there yet:)
Each year since my practice has been deepening, it's always a little less intense, but this year has marked some big changes....loss of a close animal friend, troubling shoulder/neck pain, loss of a job, and other struggles have had me traveling inward for awhile. I've needed to let myself feel whatever comes up for me, watch those thoughts and feelings, and just let them be without judging them.....allowing time to uncover what's under those thoughts. Some days I read, practice yoga, and let things happen. Some days I'd avoid everything, drink wine, eat cookies, and watch TV. The latter coping mechanism obviously being the one that I'd rather never do, but I'm not quite there yet:)
It's funny how impermanent everything outside of us is. It seems like as soon as you get settled into something, it changes just at that moment, challenging you to learn anew, and accept again. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable....because change for most of us is just that....uncomfortable. Your reaction to this might be, well that's depressing....do I have to be uncomfortable forever?? So what does one do to navigate these turbulent waves of life?
Find that practice that can help you uncover that part of you which is unchanging.....that part of you that isn't affected by the craziness, that part of you that doesn't take on the identity of divorcee, widower, unemployed person, victim. It's there. It can't be touched or defined by hardship. It just is. It's that part of you that has watched it all....the observer of your life's events. It's that part of you that isn't your thoughts, that part that isn't your reactions to things. Inside each of us is a deep well of strength and calm, it's just up to us to journey inward to find it.
So if you've been wondering where I am these days....that's where I am...on that journey.
So if you've been wondering where I am these days....that's where I am...on that journey.
You must learn an inner solitude, wherever or with whomsoever you may be.
You must learn to penetrate things and find God there,
to get a strong impression of God firmly fixed in your mind.
~Meister Eckhart
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